Peaceful Thoughts

After going to bed last night and having a good nights sleep, I woke up at Peace with our adoption. I went into Katie Bug's room and held her in my arms while in the rocking chair. She was so sweet and still very sleepy. She sat in my lap and laid her head on my laps also (almost doubled over) and I just rubbed her back until we were wake enough to drink her bottle. Today has been a good day. We went into her room to have a little quiet and when we came out she reached her arms out to her daddy. Mike had that big ole smile like "ha ha she wants me and not you". I am so happy that she is attaching to both of us.

Sad, Grieving, and Happy Heart

Yesterday was the one month mark for us as a family. I get a call from my friend who knows the birth family. The birth mom signed the papers today saying the she is not going to contest for her child to be adopted. My friend was there explaining to her and making sure she knew what she was signing and they said she did. She signed them with tears streaming down her face. I should be soooooo happy but my heart is breaking for this young lady. As I sit here and type this entry tears are running down my face as well. My heart has always been to help the hurting "at risk" young ladies in this world and here I have helped her out and her baby but yet at the same time I am causing her much grief. I know in my heart that this is what is right and I am so glad to be this little girl's mother. Dreams to come true but they come at a cost. I just want to say "Thank You".

getting adjusted

Well, we are becoming more and more adjusted to each other. In the past I read the book Baby Wise and knew the importance of a structured routine. I am currently reading The Secrets of the Baby Whisper. She too says that the baby needs to have a structured routine and that the baby is a part of the family's life and that everything doesn't have to come to a screaching halt because of baby. Basicly she follows the same plan but calls it EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Yourself) I like this because it makes it easy for me to follow. We do not live my the clock but we do follow a structure routine and follow EASY with the exception of her last feeding, which we do at bedtime because that was what she was used to with her foster family. I would like to follow EASY with that, but the last feeding sometimes is not too far from her last one. She is a good sleeper and for the most part I have come to know why she is crying but sometimes I am still clueless and sometimes I think she is still greiving or has had a bad dream. A few days ago she woke up screaming, Mike got her out of bed but she would not be comforted so we thought maybe it was because he picked her up (he's done it before) so he handed her to me and I could not comfort her either and she had this look of fear on her face that broke both of our hearts. Over all she is a happy little baby.

Are Dangerous Chemicals in Your Baby Products????

3 weeks

It's hard to believe that Katie has been with us for 3 weeks. She has seemed to make a lot of progress but sometimes I think she is struggling and I don't know how to comfort her. She has had a lot stuff in her life. The hardest thing for me is when she cries and I can't seem to figure out why she is crying. This has gotten better for me a little. Also holding a 15 pound baby ALL day is hard work. I do know that I care a lot for this little one when she fell off the bed and hit her head on the hardwood floor when I was nearby scared me near to death. My mom said she couldn't get her legs to move fast enough to get to us. She took little bit because I could not comfort her because I could not be comforted. I don't think I've cried so much in a very long time. This past weekend was probally a little too much stimulation for her. We visited Mike's parents and family on Saturday and then my parents and family on Sunday. They threw her a shower and many friends and family members showed up. I don't have to worry about spoiling my child because everyone else is.