Wednesday, July 07, 2010

One Year Ago

One year ago today my life was changed forever. It was a day that I had waited for for so long. It was a day that I thought would never happen. It was the day that you came into my life.
Your first year of life, you endured more than anyone should ever have to deal with. Due to circumstances beyond all of our control you were taken from your mother's arms and eventually placed into mine. First of all let me say that she loved you and had a part in choosing me to me your "mommy". Even back then you were a happy baby, but I saw the sadness in your eyes, sadness of not knowing what was going on. You have grown so much since that first day you were home. You were crawling around and enjoyed playing but you didn't want to be held for to long and now more often than not, I hear you say "down" with your arms held up for me to pick you up. You are learning to say "up please". A year ago you could not talk yet, but soon your first words came "Key Cat" oh how you loved that kitty cat, but she wasn't so sure about this little thing crawling around. You still love that cat and yes she loves you too. Soon there after you took your first steps.
Those first few months were hard for us all but all I know is that I loved you. I felt so helpless sometimes not knowing what I should do. I have loved you from the start but somewhere along the way I fell helplessly in LOVE with you and I think you you love me too. I was no longer a strange person who just took care of you, I was your "mama". You are still a beautiful and happy baby girl. You love life, you love being outdoors and exploring. You also love books and like for us to read to you, and sometimes will try and keep us from putting you to bed by asking for "book".
I love watching you enjoy life and watching you grow and learn. I have never been happier to sit back and watch someone do something. It is amazing to watch you do things that you once could not do. You love your babies and you love to push them around in the stroller. I even hear them say "down" so that they can get out of the stroller. You have always liked peek a boo and you still do, I love to watch your face light up brighter than the brightest star when I "find" you.
As your mommy, I promise to always love you and to help you learn and grow. I pray that you always have a passion for life and that you keep your love of others. You are always smiling and blowing kisses to everyone you meet. I also promise to help you the best way I know how to heal the wounds of your past because they were not caused by you. I will always be here for you to hold your hand, to kiss you good night, to wipe "tear balls" from your eyes, to give you zerberts as long as I am alive.
I love you my sweet and beautiful daughter.



Monday, July 05, 2010

waiting to cross the finish line

It seems that sometimes this journey will never come to an end. We finally have our attorney working on the adoption petition, Which we thought we would have signed already. That doesn't seem to bother me as much as it did before. There are a few glitches in some of the papers that were given to the attorney but hopefully they are minor and will not increase the wait time. I know that she worked on it today so hopefully we will be able to sign in a few days. Once we sign then our attorney will file the papers and we will wait for a court date. Once again we are so close but so far away (or at least that's how it feels).
I do know that I am ready for us to be able to live our life without having permission to do something, or having an approved baby sitter, etc. But I do know one thing is for sure, that tiny tot of mine is worth it all.

Glossy Bands Giveaway!!!!

Over at The Momtage they are giving away Glossy Bands. Check them out at http://www.themomtage.com/2010/07/glossy-bands-giveaway-and-review.html for your chance to win.

Katie's Home!!

Daisypath Anniversary Years PicDaisypath Anniversary Years Ticker